if i could ignore myself i would
What girls say: I'm fine
What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst
royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
anonynaila: subvertcliche: mello-dramatic: Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book to read based on their bio/posts. Everyone. I mean it. THIS IS THE BEST POST I HAVE EVER SEEN EVER they really do mean everyone
imgonnariverdance: easterberry-test: fartgallery: tugboatproceedless: fartgallery: is it just me or are all the guys on this site getting progressively more naked *cough* now its your turn *cough* taking off my glove flap A glove flap good sir? How delightfully scandalous. Allow me to raise you… a full glove. Tag your porn people
drarna: how to protect yourself from someone trying to rob you look them in the eyes and tell them you know their father was never there for them share an emotional hug during the emotional hug reach into their back pocket and take their wallet haha trolled
penice: alegbra: penice: penice: my wifi adapter is being so shitty i’m gonna kill myself i’m a ghost now is that a bedsheet on your head no i’m a ghost
beerito: we might not have talked before but I’m in love with you
wizardsandhijack: hospitalf0rsouls: Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God… did Mary have a little lamb? you broke the world
petparent: Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack
grandma: so do you have a boyfriend yet?
me: not in this economy
When you're hungry and you see someone in public...
trillow: “i need to get something off my chest” yeah it’s your shirt let me help you with that
no-hetero: drunkdate: im scared of shower sex like what if i slip and die doesn’t matter, had sex
on the bright side i am not addicted to cocaine
There's nothing wrong with sex, people.
claireruns: thechroniclesofrin: - Having sex every day. - Saving sex for your wedding night. - Never having sex. - Having sex with different people. - Having sex with one person. - Having sex with a person of your same gender. - Loving sex. - Hating sex. - Being loud. - Being quiet. The only thing wrong with sex? When it’s not consensual. Because that’s not sex. That’s rape. ...
all i want is to get in a fight with a guy and scream at him to shut up and then he’ll push me roughly against a wall and whisper “make me”